Day 22 of my 52 day marathon training, and it happens. It was Sunday, my day off after a rough 19 miler, hanging in the backyard – barefoot while trimming tree branches with my long-handled pruner. I pulled back hard on the rope that controls the pruner’s lower jaw, trying to get through a stubborn branch that was a little too far out of my reach. I suddenly feel the handle slip through my sweaty left hand, and the metal jaws flying towards me. It felt like a badly stubbed toe. I looked down, and no blood! That’s good! I tried to walk it off for a few seconds, which woke up my circulation and revealed the gash on the outside of my right big toe, left by the dull end of the pruner.

That’s all it took to send me into a multi-day struggle of excuses, fear, and hopelessness. Not to be overly dramatic about this relatively harmless injury – no stitches, no urgent care clinics, and it was easily tended to at home. But the cut on my toe was so much more than just a cut. I caught me at my weakest point in training thus far; a perfect storm after completing my longest run in 4 years, with the shakey, sore, stiff legs to prove it.

I immediately knew what this inconveniently-located cut could cost me: at least one or two days of training, and a battle with my head to get me back in my running shoes. I have been working so hard to starting feeling fit again, and to move beyond the pain and fatigue of putting in real and consistent mileage for the first time in a long time. It takes much more work to dust off the cobwebs than it does to let them grow back.

So, my Sunday consisted of gingerly limping around on my bandaged big-toe, and thinking about how I may have just ruined my chances of running a decent come-back marathon. But, as usual, I was just getting ahead of myself. I took Sunday, Monday, AND Tuesday off. I was feeling down on myself, and was a bit worried for my toe, but really I was just letting my injury be my excuse for taking more days off.

I forced myself to leave the house on Wednesday for a track workout. I biked over to the track, which felt nice to be moving fast, and then proceeded to bust out the best 4×800 repeats I’ve done in a long time. My toe held up great, and I realized that I was just looking for reasons to take unnecessary breaks for the past few days. I could’ve gotten on the bike or elliptical any one of those days, without hurting my toe at all, but I convinced myself that I needed to be inactive.

That track workout shook me out of it, and helped me see how easy it is to loose faith in myself the moment something goes wrong. This toe injury so so much more of a mental exercise than I could have imagined,and I’m feeling like I came out of it with more strength than I had before.